Pre Judging? Guilty!

" You are not my friend anymore!" I blunted out. 

 Have you ever judged someone before knowing all the facts? 

I did! My friend  Luke had just canceled our plans to see a movie. He was afraid of anything with danger or scary actions. Luke had been a good friend since fourth grade but his fears, worries, and anxieties finally made me give up on our friendship. For example, he never went with me to any school events or activates because of the crowds and the noise. I just never understood why he was so bothered by noise and large crowed. I have judged his actions without understanding the reasons for his problems, but I am out of patience. 

  In the beginning, our friendship started in fourth grade we both had difficult in reading so we were in small group - work together. We got along great and liked talking crafts, school , and games. Luke was always nervous and worried about everything from answering in class to germs and the weather.  His fears and worries begin talking over every conversation. " Don't worry about it !" became my usual answer to his problems. Can't he control reality, I kept asking my self. I felt annoyed. 

    Then, we got to middle school and our friendship became more complicated. I liked changing classes and having different teachers but Luke was frightened by the many changes. The bells for changing class, the different teachers and subjects , and the crowds in the hall were all scary to Luke. I thought Luke just had an overworked imagination that he could turn off so when he panicked his worries. He didn't turn it off his worries multiplied.  

Next, we were in high school together and I began having new friends. Luke did not trust new people so our group of friends was different people. I thought Luke was just wanting attention with his worries. I could talk my self out of beaning nervous, why couldn't he? He even yelled at me about not wanting to be his friend. I was surprised and my feelings were hurt. I told him he was not my friend anymore. He had forgotten how many times I had try to help him get over his worries. I began wondering if I had prejudged Luke instead of trying to understand his worries. 

Finally, I had time away from Luke to think about how I judged him. I was disappointed many times when he canceled our plans to get together because he was worried about something. I should have realized that our brains work differently and that he could not control his worries. Pre-judging had cost me a long - time friendship because I didn't have all the facts. I learned that it's best to get more facts before a final judgment of a person